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Sheesh I'm horny!
 
Musings of a frustrated phreak
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
It's drizzling men
Posted:Feb 9, 2019 12:05 am
Last Updated:Feb 9, 2019 12:12 am
2759 Views

I am restless again.A few dates that have ended with a kiss goodnight followed by a solo trip to the local Ice House for a quick drink. My RBF is on fleek so I don't worry about being bothered, people watching entertains me,
I reopened up my profile to men again. I'm not interested in couples, I am flattered but I really am happy with the one I have,
As far as single men... I will not bring a women to share with you Asking will get you blocked., That's not what I am looking for.
I keep thinking that NSA or FWB might not be enough for me anymore. I want a connection with the potential for more.
I;m an opposites attract fan... my citified reformed diva self has a soft spot for the rugged cowboy type.My outspoken and independent nature scares them off,I seem to find it difficult to find someone that I find attractive both mentally/intellectually along with physically. I think I keep looking at men that are too old, I've always dated close to my age if not older. I think my love of smoking a nice blunt works better with a younger guy.
The gentlemen I have chatted with here have materialized in person,,,only twice.I don't believe in a long text/email interaction...it is a step to actually meeting!!! I've made only 1exception to that rule but I know he will never meet... a pen pal really. so its not really a concession.
Companionship leads to a deeper and more trusting intimate relationship. I am as comfortable eating taco truck tacos... watching the gulls dive in the water as I am dressed to the nines in a fine scale (overpriced) restaurant.And cooking at home .... nothing sexier than a man who knows his way around the kitchen.mmmmm.
Military or Peace officers... If you can handle the fact that I am a stoner (I am on Chemo) then I absolutely have no issue with what you do. I respect the job and I have the same warped sense of humor...I'm not a blue bunny but I could be considered "bunny adjacent".

As far the women I have been chatting with recently... WTF?
If you're married...it's not really cool to hide that until we set up a meet. I approach you in a different manner if I am fully aware of the situation.
And single bi ladies.... you will not turn into a lesbian if you play without a man around. I adore a sexy femme looking for some one on one...

Soooo, let's see what happens...any advice would be appreciated

0 Comments
I just don't like you that way
Posted:Dec 20, 2018 10:10 pm
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2019 10:44 pm
2745 Views

I feel bad. I've been "dating" a woman for a few months. I knew pretty early that it wasn't going to turn into a grand romance. I had hoped a possible FWB situation might evolve but she wanted more. I was open from the beginning, I have even discussed other women I have been chatting with. I broke up with her but I was a cunt and did it with Facebook IM.... I know, I call BS on myself but it is one more example of just why I shouldn't be with you....dude, not even text, IM.... cunt move on my side.
We probably wouldn't have had lasted as long as we did if she didn't 4:20 with me. I am still in search of that perfect mix of smoke buddy and lover. I'll find them....male or female still seems to be open for discussion.
1 comment
Bi myself
Posted:Oct 15, 2018 8:23 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 4:1 pm
2826 Views

I recently began seeing a woman I met on another website. I have a few profiles floating around in the ether and I approach the people I meet on them in different manners. I haven’t dated a lesbian in years, there’s a stigma attached to dating Bi women in the LGBTQ community that seems to have intensified since I last ran in that crowd. For many years I dated women almost exclusively but I always identified as Bi and was out and open about myself. There wasn’t such a bad reputation about us in the community and I found myself in more than one relationship with both lesbians and bisexual women.
Fast forward 20 years and the environment has changed.
I feel the difference too. There seems to be a trend of the Bi women of today don’t seem to want anything other than a threesome with a SO. I get it, I enjoy the threesome dynamic too but not every time.
I’m so confused.
Becoming sexually active again has triggered the self introspection mechanism in me again. I’ve checked off the box for men, women and a brief revisit with a couple from my past searching for what will satisfy me.
I still don’t have a clue.
There are very few men that I find both intellectually stimulating and physically attractive. I’m not a clingy, have to see to see you every night type of girl but I do need to chat or text or talk to someone on a regular to stay interested. I’m a big fan of the FWB “relationship”... the come over and let’s hang out, burn one, Netflix and chill... then go home “relationship” but I guess no one does that anymore.
And don’t get me started on women!
I totally understand wanting to get to know someone but I’m not interviewing for a lifetime commitment. How long does it take before you are comfortable enough to actually meet? Or worse... two dates and an orgasm is NOT an indication of a lifelong commitment. Once again... come over and let’s hang out, burn one, Netflix and chill then go home... not Netflix and start packing to move in!
I’ve never hidden my sexuality, been out since the 80’s, so the “curious” women who require discretion are really hard for me to connect with anymore. If you’re single and curious, what is the issue? Why be so secretive? Married and curious is another matter. If a married woman is curious and doesn’t want to include her husband... I’m more inclined to understand that need for discretion.
I do have a better understanding of myself and how I relate to dating both sexes. Men I am much more able to separate the physical attraction from the emotional attachment. I can think of a man in a purely sexual way but a woman I cannot. I have higher standards for women, I expect more from them than I do men. I’m sexist! I cannot just “tap it” for the physical pleasure. I need the F in FWB to be more connected.
I saw a meme the other day that sums it all up.
I’m attracted to both men women... I’m destined to be Bi myself.
0 Comments
Heeeeeee's back!
Posted:Jul 25, 2018 1:29 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 4:1 pm
3478 Views

My catfishes is at it again. He has friend requested multiple times but I was bored and finally accepted one today. I'll let you know what happens, I love these!!
0 Comments
Your freshness date has expired.
Posted:Jul 25, 2018 1:25 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 4:1 pm
3518 Views

How long should I wait for someone to finally meet? I know that my situation has some limitations (to be surgically corrected on Aug 20th!) but I thought that by now I would have met at least one of the two gentlemen I've been chatting with! Why do the men seem to think that just because you met on this site, it's an automatic hookup the first time? I will not meet someone at my home or theirs the first time we meet, that's not negotiable.
I'm beginning to think that I have made mistake putting a new profile up. I need more of a connection, more building of the intimacy than I used to. I miss the relationship as much as the relations. Friends with benefits has a different meaning to me now.
My Rocket scientist remains a mystery man. I have come to the realization that he is perfectly content to remain pen pals. After months of texting he hasn't even wanted to talk on the phone. I'm done.
My sexy construction guy only texts when he's looking for a virtual hand job. He has called but when I declined to invite him to my home his interest "wained".
I didn't think I was looking for a boy or girlfriend, I thought a nice distraction would be enough... but I was wrong. I'm coming to the end of a major life event, multiple events in reality, and I just wanted someone to celebrate with.
I don't know what to do. I think I will just hibernate again.
0 Comments
Catfish the catfisher
Posted:Jul 4, 2018 8:51 am
Last Updated:Jul 4, 2018 1:03 pm
4292 Views

I was recently sent a friend request on Facebook from a person I didn't know. I checked his profile out and could tell it was Catfisher..... I love these guys!
I accepted and began my fishing expedition. As someone who has used multiple dating sites and apps ranging from E Harmony to Fet life I love it when someone tries to catfish me. I take on a different personality and really get into it!
I usually play along until I can see how they are going to get to the “endgame “ or the money pitch but this guy was just so bad that I think I might have had a beginner. At around 10 days in he made his biggest mistake, a group text to all 4 of his marks!! I remember I actually squealed in delight when it popped up .😁
I made sure to let the other women know what was happening. I texted and then called each one to explain that they were being scammed. I felt bad for them because they all were older, lonely women who really believed that a charming attractive man... a Dr no less, was sent by God to answer their prayers.
It pissed me off!
So operation “Catfish the Catfisher “ was enacted 😎
I first had all the women block him.... every one except me.
I then turned up the heat. Texting every 15 minutes (I used a timer) with a detail I had collected from each woman, alternating angry hurt heartbroken texts with undying protestations of my true undying love...
I was finally blocked and unblocked 5 times by my catfisher 😂 😆 😝
But I’m not done yet 😁
My next phase was the “I’m such a super phreak you might not be able to handle me” part. I began by sending X rated film clips of what I liked done... I mean the stuff that makes you feel dirty just watching it let alone even consider doing it... Animal porn, cuckhold bi- porn, hard core B&D... you name it, I sent it!
This started my” Send me a cock shot” portion of the fishing expeditions. I never got one!?!😐
My catfisher ...Dr Dave... finally moved to money phase of his scam when I told him I couldn’t continue to talk to him because my family was mad I had “fallen “ for a stranger. He finally blocked me for good when I told him I would send him money but only if he would Skype me so we could mutually masterbate vis video. 😎
Now I have been entertaining myself with this for a few weeks now but what Dr Dave doesn’t know is that one of his marks, a woman who lives nearby, has asked me to dinner. Come to find out, she is a bit “curious “ about my bisexuality.
Who Knew!?! 😁
3 Comments
Buzz Buzz in my brain
Posted:May 27, 2018 1:31 am
Last Updated:Jun 6, 2018 8:55 pm
3882 Views

I am not the type to date multiple people at the same time. I might talk to multiple people at the same time but once I begin being intimate with someone, I stop talking to the others. The only real exception is when dating a man who understands my bisexuality and welcomes my desires for the other sex. I've never experienced a partner like that.
I also do not miss men when dating a woman.
I am confused as to what I want right now. There is an incredible sexy hispanic woman I have been chatting with but she is married, which I have NO problem with...I will not date a married man but if a married woman needs discretion from her husband, no problem. I know I want her...for hours... as often as possible. It's most definitely a lust driven desire.... yep, moooost definitely.
The male candidate(s) are diverse and in varying degrees of communication.
Number one is a man close to my age who has gotten into my head with his attentive ways. Morning texts, call during the day, steamy texts and some delicious pics that make parts of the anatomy...moist. He understands my health limitations and is willing to work around them.
Number two and I have been chatting for a longer period. At 12 years younger and someone who I describe as left brain, he remains a faceless stranger, content to chat with light flirts and banter. I enjoy his chats but his hesitation to even share a pic or meet for a quick drink has resulted in self-placement in the dreaded friend zone.
And still, buzzing in my daily existence, is the romance that wasn't. My tasty Asian fusion biker/cowboy. The man who I went against my instinct and let my guard down with... nothing to worry about here, he is just a friend... who I have fallen for in the classic stupid bad decision of wanting someone who isn't interested or attracted to me.
UGH.
Bad timing or indecision...I cannot tell. Tasty Morsel is friends with my nephew's business partner. I hired him to work on my house. Before coming to work for me his interactions with my nephew were not that frequent and usually only when his partner was there ,so when my tasty morsel wants to come over and just hang out or burn one with me, I get confused. I have never been shy about my attraction to him but I have also never acted on that attraction either. Twice I have embarrassed myself; once by telling him... straight up, I was meeting someone later that evening , a much younger man who was very interested in ending my 3 1/2 year "dry spell" but that he wasn't the one I was interested in....I wanted my Tasty morsel instead. I explained that I knew he had expressed interest in another person but if he was interested in me as well, I wouldn't go any further with my potential boy toy. I was answered with a guilty smirk and he began to say that he really liked this other person. I stopped him there, apologized and quickly left the premises. I blew off my date and went on a roll and burn to lick my wounded prides/self esteem.Flash forward to a few days later and I was able to spend time with him again. We were sitting outside, smoking a joint when I began to jokingly bust his chops for laughing during my moment of embarrasment. He asked if I had gone on my date and I told him no. It was then that he delivered the doozy of all mixed signal statements.
"I'm not saying no to the idea of you, I'm saying no to the idea of "that"". My only was response to laugh and tell him I wasn't offering "that" I was just trying to figure out if he was interested.
So I stopped talking to other men and started just spending time with him. We talked about past relationships, future goals, everything and nothing. Lunches, shopping expeditions for materials for the house and more conversations.He said he is old fashioned and likes to take things slow... I was surprised but actually okay with that.But then I felt myself catching the feels for a man... a man who hadn't held my hand or offered more than a kiss. I told him things I had not even shared with my husband of 10 years.
It was about about a month of this when I was invited to spend time with an old friend and his wife. Our evening included a reconnection with someone who I had known years before when we were both dating others. He was attentive and flirtatious and walked me to my car in an attempt to secure a kiss. I surprised myself when I rebuffed his kiss! A hot younger man offers me a kiss and I am not one who would usually decline.
The next afternoon I teasingly told Tasty Morsel that he owed me a kiss for the one I turned down the previous evening. His reaction surprised me to my core. It felt as if I had just told him that he was going to be forced to tongue fuck the snatch of a crack . He explained he NEVER kissed anyone until he "was in love" He acted offended that I had even joked about it. I joked it off by saying I didn't expect it immediately and once again...quickly vacated the premises. I texted him immediately after getting home apologizing for his obvious discomfort. It was a few hours later, after a nap, I came to the realization that I was to Tasty Morsel what aborted Boy Toy was to me. I want to say I took the realization well but nope... had to send him a text poring out my confession of desire,,,my longing to touch and kiss him and how I realized I was just making a fool of myself.He had often talked about the "spark" of attraction. In a moment of blog like communication I mentioned the spark and how even a flint and stone need contact to create a spark...spontaneous combustion is a myth blah blah blah. I then explained I need to not spend so much time with him.
And I did.
Which brings me back to number One. As I said he is most definitely someone who has me attracted... very attracted. He would be a wonderful play partner and excellent lover but is that enough?
And Tasty Morsel keeps buzzing around...just out of reach. Spending time with me whether anyone is here or not. A quick stop in on the way to the other job or after the day is done.
And I feel my heart breaking because I know...I know down deep...that if I move on to Candidate One the possibility of what could have been a real, true romance and relationship with Tasty Morsel will forever be gone.
1 comment
Really, it's almost over ?!?
Posted:May 13, 2018 11:21 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2018 1:35 am
4023 Views

Went for my latest oncologist appointment and received great news. I have one more round then a minor surgery and I will be cleared of cancer. About 3 months and this will be over.
I am sooooo ready to close this chapter and get to living again. It's been over a year since my diagnosis so trust when I say... next chapter!
Construction on the house has slowed.
I have decided to move on from my tasty asian fusion biker/cowboy. I still firmly believe he is a fucking idiot for not recognizing what was being offered but Mr Mixed Signals has no interest...shame. One mans loss is another mans gain.
Not much tonight, just happy and wanted to share.
4 Comments
What have I done?
Posted:Apr 24, 2018 1:08 am
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2018 9:09 pm
3842 Views

I've tried a little "social experiment" with my profile lately. I have always just used the profile to meet women or couples. I might have met a single male once or twice but those two gentlemen were exceptions to the rule. A few days ago I turned my profile on to look at guys. I also turned on the IM and actually answered a few.
Oh my.
How interesting.
I have mixed feelings on the result.
As I say on my profile, I'm a different person. 5 years ago, when I was here before, I would have been like a in a candy store. I have had sooooo many responses I had to reboot my phone from the alerts.
Some very sexy younger men.... finely chiseled bodies with tattoos.
A few older men with well written profiles and equally intriguing messages.
An incredibly sexy chocolate couple.
I have exchanged numbers and texted with a few but...with the exception of a fellow Whovian...and a very distant gentleman ... I'm just not as interested as I want to be.
It's been three years and as much as I crave the touch of another... I have met two people in the real world that I am most interested in.
One male, one female, both distant in different ways.
The male, my gentleman cowboy/biker, send mixed signals to a blind signal reader.I treasure our conversational squirrel hunts fueled by 4:20 pipe hits and filled with laughter. I melt when he simply says "Yes Ma'am" in his sexy deep country voice. I want to kiss him so badly but...red haired waitress.
The female, a businesswoman/bar owner. I noticed her the first and only other time I went to her club.At the time I know she was in a relationship but that was 3ish years ago and I was dating someone at the time. I didn't actually meet her until a few weeks back when I joined old friends for dinner at her bar. They frequent the lesbian bar she owns and have known her for years. She and I spent half the evening just talking... a mini- conversational squirrel hunt. Her parting hug was...extended. I'll be making the drive again just to see if this might be a mutual interest thing.
Remember, I have NO GAME!!
So here is the thing, I have spent the last twelve years, since my divorce, avoiding emotional attachments. if I sensed a case of "The Feels" starting to catch...on either side...I ran.
I'm tired of running.
I am a strong independent woman who has carried a thick coat of armor around my heart/mind/soul.
Armor get's heavy.
Do I take a chance and see if anything develops with one of the wonderful people I've connected with during my experiment?
I hate being self aware.
0 Comments
I miss kissing
Posted:Apr 19, 2018 10:47 pm
Last Updated:May 13, 2018 11:26 pm
3811 Views

You can tell what type of lover some is by their kiss. The first tentative moment when your eyes meet and lock. The slight lowering of the eyelids as you feel the rush... nipples stiffen and you involuntarily lightly lick your lips.
Mmmmm
The touch of a hand as you're pulled closer.
There is a moment, just before, when I realize a kiss is coming and I feel the need to suppress a light moan.
There is a moment when your lips touch... eyes still locked until the passion spills over and eyes close. ful and light... tentative tongues.. shared breath and the taste of wine or coffee or the hint of smoke... lingering.
I miss exploring hands and tongues...clothing shed in layers... passion interrupted with fits off laughter due to nervous fingers fumbling on buttons or stubborn zippers.
I miss pulling back...saving something for the next time, building the anticipation.
I miss a good old fashid make-out session.
0 Comments
I hate my life.
Posted:Apr 19, 2018 2:10 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 4:1 pm
3705 Views

I only recently opened my profile search to include men. I did it because of a man I have met in real life. I am usually a 60/40 mix on dating, more women than men. I met a cowboy/biker/drool inducing tasty morsel of a man and he HAS NO IDEA I EXIST!!
It's frustrating as hell. I don't usually respond to men (especially cowboys) but this guy has gotten under my skin.
I know he is interested in someone else, he feels comfortable enough around me to ask dating advise like how to know when to ask someone out. It kills me.
So I have spent the last month building my "immunity" to him. When I feel myself about to slip I just repeat my immunity mantra " Red headed waitress, red headed waitress" and the urge subsides.
Then tonight it happened. I was scrolling down and saw an interesting guy. I was on my phone so the pic was small but I always read the profile before perusing the pics. One line in and I realized it was him.
I was mortified and like a dork I had to immediately back out and sign off.
Dumbass me forgot to read his profile.
I hate my life.
Before you start saying "Make a move, let him know"
He works for me. I have spent too many years in the corporate world and I just CAN'T.
I am a flirt and have embarrassed myself on more than one occasion but as I said, he is interested in someone else.
I have learned something about myself though. I need to know that I am found sexy/ attractive/ desirable or I lose interest. He is a true gentleman... too much of one.

Ugh, I hate my life...
0 Comments
Yes I said it, I have cancer.
Posted:Apr 19, 2018 12:37 am
Last Updated:May 19, 2018 11:34 pm
3824 Views

I have had numerous emails and IM's asking me to meet. on my profile I said that health issues have changed my perspective on life. Let me explain.
I think it's time to introduce you to LJ, Chachi and Amber.
4/13 was the one year anniversary of my diagnosis of Kidney Cancer. On May30th I had surgery to remove my left kidney ( 6lb tumor named Chachi) and I am currently taking a targeted oral chemotherapy treatment. I mention this because the manner in which my cancer was detected is now a case study due to the unusual manner in which it presented. Kidney cancer is usually found quite late due to its tendency to spread to either the brain or the bones.
Mine was found because of a Vaginal Lesion...yep, my super vagina has the power to stop cancer in its tracks! That's some powerful P.
I have a recurring lesion just inside my vaginal opening. The lesion tends to develop a balloon like hematoma t(about the size of your thumb) that just sits there...in my vagina. I named him LJ, for Little Juicy.
LJ sits in a spot that bumps him up against my G Spot with each and every step. My Dr says as long as I refrain from penetration I am okay. I only have one more round (after my current one) and hopefully I will be through with treatment,
I currently cannot play "completely" but to be honest....I could use a hot make out session to burn off some steam.
Amber is the name I have given my asshole. Ill tell you more about her at a later date
I don't want to misrepresent.
1 comment
It's about time I wrote some thing here
Posted:Apr 16, 2018 9:15 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2018 11:14 pm
3812 Views

Hello all
I'm Denise and thanks for taking the time to actually check out my blog. As my profile says I have been here before and have been successful in meeting a few friends and lovers. I have always had profile handles that involved the "princess" or "Diva" descriptor in the name, not anymore. I'm different than before, more introspective and self aware.
I'm still a Phreak
I once described myself as a sexual cicada... destined to spend long periods in hibernation only to awaken and completely devour all in my path. I've been in hibernation for almost 3 years so look out... the beast is waking from her slumber
and I'm Famished.
3 Comments

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
It's drizzling men (3)Crouch14S
May 17, 2019 10:21 am
I just don't like you that way (1)TxnInHouston
Jan 12, 2019 5:28 am
Catfish the catfisher (7)dayzeeme
Jul 4, 2018 10:17 am
Really, it's almost over ?!? (8)fivestar562
May 14, 2018 7:17 am
Yes I said it, I have cancer. (3)C00kieDuster
Apr 22, 2018 11:54 am
I miss kissing (1)BigDaddyRick62
Apr 20, 2018 9:18 am
It's about time I wrote some thing here (4)pocogato12
Apr 17, 2018 7:35 am